Witness Story #2: Troy and Tara Livesay

Before I dive into the story of how we came to be involved in the Giving Hope Rescue Mission drama, I want to quickly share a tiny bit of background information. My family and I live in Port au Prince and have lived and worked full time in Haiti since January 2006.  Troy and I have seven children, three of whom are adopted from Haiti.

We first came to Haiti in 2002 when we adopted two of our three Haitian children. In the 12 years that we have been involved in International Adoption and orphan-care we have seen both excellent and horrific behavior and practices take place.  We come at it (adoption in general) from a unique perspective due to our family history and our growing understanding of Haitian culture.  Because we have full-time work we do in Haiti, we’ve only hesitantly and quite rarely become involved in any of the difficult or unethical situations we’ve observed in our time living in Haiti.

For the sake of ease, throughout this post I will use the word “missionary”.  I use that word to describe folks that are expatriates living and working in Haiti. They may or may not consider themselves missionaries. The word means different things to different people.

In mid June of 2012 I received a message from a couple adopting from Giving Hope Rescue Mission named Amanda and Jeremy. We had previously corresponded very briefly in early 2012 as they were researching adopting from Haiti. My advice to them was to proceed with caution and visit in person if at all possible. We did not have further contact after that short interaction.

In her June 2012 note to me Amanda introduced herself again and explained that she was wondering if we or any other missionaries we knew and trusted would consider doing foster care for the remainder of their adoption if they could be granted permission to move their son out of the orphanage. Amanda and her husband were concerned because Heather Elyse had contacted them and told them that their son was showing signs of stress and pulling his own hair out. Due to that and a few things that I prefer Amanda choose to share, rather than myself; they felt he would benefit from individualized care.  Clearly, everyone agrees that institutionalized care is not what is best for children.  Sadly, we all know that many times for a variety of reasons it is not possible for children to live in foster-care or family settings during their adoption process. Amanda and Jeremy were seeking permission from Heather and wanted to first know that they had a safe place to move their son, “AJ”. 

Heather Elyse at that time was posting quite publicly on a blog and on a public Facebook page about her belief that foster care was always better than orphanage care so the couple had reason to hope their son could be granted permission to be moved.

Our family had previously provided foster care for four other children during our seven years in Haiti. The time frames varied from six weeks to two years and we felt experienced and prepared for both the joyful and the painful part of that endeavor. My husband and I took a few days to think and pray about the request and we decided to offer to become a foster family for AJ. We wrote back to Amanda and Jeremy to agree to take care of their son from August 2012 until the adoption was finished.

Within a week or two of saying yes, with some discussions of our parameters, Amanda wrote to say that originally Heather verbally agreed to the plan via a phone call, but that shortly after that Heather Elyse had somehow become offended and had changed her mind and would not allow the family to move AJ to our home.   

Amanda and Jeremy did not understand why Heather had changed her mind so quickly after agreeing to allow AJ to be moved.  Amanda did not elaborate with us other than to say that Heather did not like our request to have our nanny accompany AJ to appointments at the crèche. Amanda and Jeremy wanted to just let it go and not press the issue. I never had any direct contact with Heather Elyse regarding the family.

We were an outside party in the matter. We supported the discretion of Jeremy and Amanda to decide how to proceed and we faded into the background by the middle of July 2012.  

We had almost no contact with Amanda and Jeremy from mid July 2012 until early 2013.

On January 26, 2013 Amanda wrote to me to ask if I knew if having an adoption decree in Haiti might make it a possibility to move AJ. She and Jeremy had learned that the adoption had advanced and that AJ was legally their son and carried their last name. She shared that they were having a hard time getting information about his health, that he was still pulling out all of his hair, and that they had not been allowed to visit. They had not seen him for 10 months and other families were not allowed to visit either and so she was unsure about what was going on at the creche.

There was a rumor we were aware of at that time in Haiti (in the missionary community) and on a missionary Facebook group that some of the kids at Giving Hope Rescue Mission had Cholera and one child had died of mysterious causes. Understandably, Amanda and Jeremy were trying to find out if AJ was well.  Cholera is an ongoing and serious issue in Haiti and is not cause to blame anyone, but of course parents want to know if their child is violently ill and/or at risk of becoming ill. We replied to them and said that we were not sure of what was legally permissible but that we were still open to providing foster care for AJ if they could do the research about how to go about that legally and still wished to attempt to move him.

Heather kept promising to speak with Jeremy but was never available and had changed her phone number. They had no way to know if AJ was sick with Cholera and felt that they were not allowed to ask for information from the rest of the staff. I offered to try to contact a missionary that was working for Heather Elyse to find out what was going on.

On February 11, 2013 I wrote to Ryan and Heather F., a young couple that had moved to Haiti in September of 2012. They invited us to lunch at the resort they were living at, Club Indigo, near the Giving Hope Rescue Mission crèche. On February 13, 2013 my daughter, Paige, and I went to Club Indigo planning to meet Ryan and his family for lunch and hopefully try to find out if AJ was doing okay. 

When we arrived at Club Indigo Ryan invited us to have pizza lunch with he and his wife and a young missionary teacher at the orphanage named Rebekah S.  We ate together and talked a little bit about their jobs with Giving Hope Rescue Mission.  Ryan and his wife were planning to adopt two Haitian children who were living with them at the time. When I asked how the laws in Haiti regarding age would affect them, they said, “Well, Heather Elyse says we might be the exception to the rule.”

Toward the end of a two hour lunch together I asked Rebekah S. if I could see the orphanage and mentioned that we have three acquaintances (we knew two couples other than Jeremy and Amanda adopting from Heather Elyse at that time) and would be interested in seeing where the kids live.  Rebekah instantly appeared nervous and turned to Heather F. to field my question instead.  Heather F. then turned to Ryan F. and said, “I don’t know, Ryan, what is the policy on seeing the orphanage right now?”  Ryan hesitated a bit and said, “I would have to get permission from Heather Elyse or Michelle See in the United States and I don’t think I can do that today.”  

We all left lunch at that time and I did not speak to Ryan again until we were leaving Club Indigo for the day.  As we were leaving I said, “Ryan, we do not get out this far from Port au Prince very often and I’d really love to see where the kids are and know a little bit more about what you do here. Can we stop in for five minutes and see the orphanage on our way out of town?”  Ryan replied with different wording but again said, “No, I am not allowed to show you the orphanage. You need to get Heather Elyse's permission.”

We were not offended that Ryan chose not to show us, but we were very concerned by the fear displayed by the missionaries when we asked about visiting.

We went home to call Amanda and Jeremy and tell them that we had not been able to confirm that AJ was well and that the staff had clearly become uncomfortable when pushed for the chance to see their orphanage.

Within our community here in Haiti we had begun to hear things about Giving Hope Rescue Mission. We knew other missionaries who had met Heather Elyse or had strange encounters with her that felt “off.” We also heard that Heather was moving kids to alternate locations outside of the creche and we heard from two separate organizations that they had taken in a few of the children from Heather Elyse’s Giving Hope Rescue Mission creche.  One friend confirmed that six kids had been moved to her orphanage.

During this time adoptive parents were being scolded for talking about the Cholera problem outside of the approved Facebook group. They were being told that they needed to have faith and trust Heather Elyse.

As long-term advocates for quality orphan care and ethical adoptions we encouraged Amanda and Jeremy to dig deeper and try to find out where AJ was and what his story was (they had shared concerns with us regarding the story they had been given about his birthmother.) He was, after all, legally their child in the eyes of Haitian law. We believed they had a right to know where he was and how he was and if children were being moved around so freely, why did Amanda and Jeremy not have the right to move AJ? (They had asked Heather again to move him to our home but not gotten an affirmative response.)

Amanda and Jeremy arrived in Haiti on Sunday, February 24, 2013.  I picked them up from the airport and we hosted them at our home.

My husband and I were both with them the entire day of February 26, 2013 when they went to court in St Marc, Haiti to file a motion for custody. We were told at the beginning of the day that the judge would hear the case and then we would return 2 days later for a final decision and probably for custody of AJ.

On that day we drove to court together (approx. 2.5 hours north of Port au Prince.)  We sat in on the court proceedings and witnessed the Judge deciding to go to the orphanage to see AJ in his living environment.  I video-recorded and audio-recorded much of that day and have it in my possession. It was a calm, ordered, non-threatening entrance into the orphanage. No one so much as raised his or her voice.  The Judge himself stopped to ask a few of the local police men and the justice of the peace in Montrouis to join us at the orphanage.  When we arrived Pierre Wesmin Garcon, Haitian crèche director, was called to accompany us past the gate into the grounds and to answer some questions posed by the judge regarding the number of kids in care, the adoption process and the children’s files.

Upon entering the orphanage/crèche it was obvious to the group that most of the children were gone. (There are two buildings on the grounds separated by a large courtyard. We were at the “baby house” which was empty.) I saw Rebekah, the girl I had sat with for lunch on February 13, 2013. I asked Rebekah, “Where is AJ, the 18 month old little boy these people are adopting.”  Rebekah said, “I know where he is but if I told you I would get in trouble.”  I then said, “They have been told conflicting information about his health, first that he had cholera and then that he did not. Can you tell me if he had Cholera and if he is okay?”  Rebekah said, “Yes, he had Cholera, I am the one that was with him in the hospital in Port au Prince.”  Amanda then asked Rebekah if AJ was living at a nearby hotel, Club Indigo, (where Heather had once intimated that he might be “quarantined.”) 

Rebekah said that she lived at Club Indigo and that AJ definitely was not living there. She said that she had not seen any of the other babies since the end of January 2013. (According to the family approximately 40-60 children were unaccounted for.) When Amanda asked another American volunteer named Sheena, “Where are all the babies?” The volunteer replied, “What babies?” and then said, “You’ll have to ask Wesmin.”

While our husbands stood to the side listening to the judge speaking to Wesmin and trying to determine where the children were, Rebekah told Amanda and I that she was “scared of Wesmin” and asked us to make sure he didn’t see her talking to us. She was nervous and visibly concerned about breaking rules to speak with us.

The Judge repeatedly asked Wesmin where AJ was and Wesmin repeatedly refused to give that information to the Judge.  After the Judge asked Wesmin dozens of questions about the children and adoption process, that he refused to answer, the Judge had Wesmin put into hand-cuffs. It was the Haitian Judge’s decision to do that.  Finally, Wesmin said that if we would take him to Club Indigo Resort, he would be able to show us that AJ was well.

When we arrived at Club Indigo, a short distance from the mainly unoccupied crèche, the Judge and the police went to the front desk of the hotel inquiring where children are kept on their property.

At Club Indigo, while we waited for 10 to 15 minutes for the judge to discuss the situation with the front desk and security, I stepped away and called Ryan F. on the telephone and asked him where AJ was.  Ryan F. also refused to say where he was stating, “We are not allowed to talk without Heather’s permission.”  I questioned him on the health of an organization so tightly controlled by someone and he replied, “Well, we are leaving Haiti tomorrow so I won’t be working for her anymore.”  He refused to come out of his hotel room, be witness to the situation, or give any information. I never saw Ryan that day.  No other North American missionaries were at the hotel front desk or involved in these conversations. Neither Troy or I or Amanda or Jeremy spoke to anyone connected to the hotel. The judge and police talked to the desk agents, the rest of us observed.

We were led by Wesmin and security to an apartment that was said to be Heather Elyse’s personal apartment. There were a few nannies and a handful of babies in a room there. There were not cribs or toys.  AJ was in the room.  The Judge asked that AJ and Wesmin and a nanny for AJ all come back to court in St Marc to discuss transferring custody to his legal parents, Amanda and Jeremy.

The judge present was non-threatening and the situation quite calm. Ryan F. told me on the telephone call that he and Wesmin “were not speaking” to one another. It seemed as though the culture of the organization was one of fear and silence.  None of the five American volunteers followed us back to the court in St Marc for the afternoon proceedings that took place. Wesmin refused over and over to tell the judge anything about where the kids were located. The judge demanded that the nannies gather the files on all children and bring them to court. Wesmin was uncooperative and unable to produce the documents the court requested to prove the crèche was operating legally.

We were all very surprised since concerns were escalating far beyond AJ and where he was located.

At the end of the day the Judge and the magistrate over the case awarded custody of AJ to Amanda and Jeremy, with Wesmin’s permission. Stating that because they had IBESR (Haitian Social Services Department) approval and AJ legally carried their last name that it was their prerogative to move him wherever they wished. A court decree/order was signed and Amanda and Jeremy agreed to give Wesmin 20 working days to produce their dossier and passport. Jeremy and Amanda had no other requests and did not ask for any money back. We left the courtroom to return home with AJ.  He has been with us in our care ever since.

Afterwards were accused by Heather Elyse of “having Wesmin arrested and beat up.”

At the time we left court Wesmin had not been beaten up and we had nothing to do with the Judge deciding to hold him for one night.  Wesmin repeatedly refused to answer questions and never disclosed where the children were located. His arrest was due to non-compliance with the court, judge, and laws of Haiti. We left before the situation was resolved but we recognized that the judge had concerns that were much more expansive than the simple issue of AJ’s custody.

The night we returned home we began receiving emails accusing us and AJ’s family of extortion, beating Wesmin, illegal activities and “raiding” the crèche. We were very surprised by all of this and agreed with Jeremy and Amanda that none of us would respond overly rapidly. We would try to find out exactly what was going on before responding. Unfortunately this became much worse and we all received a handful of accusatory  emails from families in process who felt that, given what Heather was saying, we had somehow jeopardized their adoptions.

Since the information about our involvement in helping AJ’s family leaked out, we have had multiple families in and outside of Haiti contact us with their stories and concerns about Giving Hope Rescue Mission. Some have even come to meet with us in person to share their experiences due to fear of putting it in writing. Many are too frightened to have their names made public due to concerns of retribution for speaking with us.  One woman shared very disturbing information that matched exactly with two other accounts we had heard previously from two other people.  Because that is all hearsay, I will allow those stories to be told by the folks that have the first hand experience. The people coming forward all do so with fear and trepidation stating that they are certain Heather would stop their adoption or make trouble for them and punish them if they voiced their concerns.  Some are concerned for their physical safety in Haiti.

  

We have now watched Amanda and Jeremy walk a very hard road to bringing AJ home. (He is not home yet.) They have come to Haiti multiple times since February 2013 attempting get their adoption documents from Heather Elyse and/or Wesmin Garcon.  In March of 2013, after the 20 working days provided by the court order were up, Jeremy was here with us to receive AJ’s dossier and passport. Voice of the Orphan President, Tim Rowe, determined that they would not receive these documents. Thus preventing the adoption from continuing.

In April of 2013 Troy was with Amanda at the US Embassy as she met with friends hoping to figure out how to move forward with AJ’s adoption. An investigator from the US State Department joined them and Troy was present when the investigator confirmed that there was an ongoing investigation (that did not begin due to Amanda and Jeremy removing their son.) She also gave Amanda and Troy verbal permission to share her email and telephone number.

~  ~    ~   ~

The remaining portion of this is purely our opinion…

We recognize that Heather Elyse has created an environment of fear and secrecy and has encouraged her staff that it is a normal and necessary security measure. We have never encountered this sort of behavior or this system of total lock-down rules in Haiti.

Having worked in Haiti for years, we have been granted tours to every other ministry we have asked to tour. The ministries we have worked with have always granted tours. The workers on the ground are given authority to make decisions without calling for permission at every turn. Of course there are measures to protect kids from strangers interacting with them without supervision if background checks have not been run or supervision is not available then that is totally appropriate. There is however a large difference between careful and wise and paranoid and secretive. We have never heard of this happening or not been allowed to visit a crèche when accompanied by staff.  The secrecy left us feeling like there must be something to hide. And it turns out that suspicion was right.

A ‘common’ occurrence at Giving Hope Rescue Mission of birth families or birth moms (described to us by multiple missionaries and adoptive families) frequently returning for their children is not at all a common occurrence at other organizations that are doing adoptions. If done correctly, there is counseling given to a birth mother and if done VERY well the mother is asked to take a few weeks to consider other options and think it through before she relinquishes her child. At the time of relinquishment a legally binding document is signed and the mother is made aware that she is losing the rights to her child.  Additionally, Heather repeatedly says that she takes only “true orphans” and “abandoned “ children.  If that were true, there would not be so many stories of birth families returning for their children.  No referral should ever be given to a family for a child that is not legally and totally already relinquished. That’s an unethical and unusual practice.

  

In July of 2013 Heather Elyse said this to all of her adoptive families:

“I know there are lots of blogs going around stating that they adopted their child and then found out it wasn't legit later on. I want to throw up when I read those blogs. How dare an adoptive parent say that after they have adopted and the child is living with them? What kind of message is that saying to the child? My response to those kind of ignorant blogs is: if you feel your adoption was unethical then please give your child back and stop blogging about it. I am sure bio parents will only do drugs on the weekends and maybe they can finish 4th grade. ;) (sarcasm)”

I am deeply concerned about someone operating in Haiti that has such a disdain for the Haitian people. I have been sent evidence of derogatory things being said and written by Heather Elyse about the beautiful and strong people that inhabit the island.  Earlier this year, in frustration over the stories coming out of Giving Hope Rescue Mission, after meeting with more than one family that felt they needed clarification on things,  I wrote a few posts about adoption ethics. One post was about how easily birth families can be taken advantage of by powerful people that are misusing their position to coerce adoptions for the sake of financial gain or increased prestige or power. I am deeply concerned about this and want to use the pain of our mistakes to educate and inform others. In no way, shape, or form does discouraging unethical adoptions equal an anti-adoption stance.

We have had the joy and honor of walking with mothers of all ages in Haiti. We can tell you that they deserve to be loved, uplifted, and encouraged. They are doing the heavy lifting in a very difficult culture and country. The Haitian people need friends that come to walk along side them in respect and relationship, people to champion their cause and act as advocates.

Troy and Tara

Waiting outside of Giving Hope Rescue Mission

Wesmin calmly being searched prior to leaving GHRM for Club Indigo

Wesmin leading the group to Club Indigo main entrance

Wesmin and judge discussing with Club Indigo staff

Witness Story I: Things are not as they seem at Giving Hope Rescue Mission

Note from website administrators

We have been contacted by many people who wish to share their concerns about Heather Elyse and Giving Hope Rescue Mission. These are not currently adopting families but are witnesses to strange and disturbing behavior and circumstances who desire to stand alongside us.

Some of the witnesses have longer stories and some a simple sentence or two.

The over-riding message that this group of witnesses wishes to convey is that the adoptive families are not alone. There is a quite a long list of unconnected extra people who have seen serious red flags regarding Heather Elyse and the way she handles adoptions in Haiti. They have nothing to gain and no emotional investment in adoption whatsoever. No child on the line and no emotional attachments. But they wish to share their experiences and we will honor that here in this space.

We cannot vouch for every word shared. These witnesses are coming forward unconnected to our group and while some of what is shared is experience, other portions are feelings or opinions. That being said, we believe their statements are powerful enough and reliable enough to post to this website.

Witness Story #1 comes from Stephanie:

I have been employed at a licensed child placing agency in the State of Tennessee since August 2005. I have helped many families complete adoptions from countries such as Korea, China, Lithuania, DRCongo, Uganda, Guatemala, Moldova, Ethiopia, Russia, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Pakistan, Nigeria, Liberia, and Vietnam.  I have always strived to be very careful helping my clients choose a placing agency.  I believe in using an agency or facilitator that has a strong ethical background, as well as a proven history of placing children.  After my experience with Giving Hope Rescue Mission (GHRM) and Voice of the Orphan (VOTO), I will be even more cautious and hesitant when my clients decide to use an agency I have never heard of.  I will do more research on their behalf and I will never take a new agency at face value. Most importantly, I will listen to my gut when I see or hear things that send up red flags.

My history with GHRM and VOTO began in the spring of 2012, when clients of mine, Jeremy and Kimberly, decided to use the crèche and its partner agency to adopt a child or children from Haiti.  My concerns about their choice began immediately, because I had never heard of them.  

Kim described to me their referral process, which was unlike any I had ever encountered previously.  She said that once their adoption dossier was completed, they would fly to Haiti and be presented with children to consider/choose from... In April 2012, they flew to Haiti and Heather Elyse, founder of Giving Hope Rescue Mission and Vice President of VOTO showed them two children, "R" (a girl) and "W" (a boy) who they agreed to adopt.  

I asked Kim what type of referral paperwork on the children they received, and she said she saw no paperwork, only the children themselves, with very limited story about how they came to the crèche.  This was a major red flag to me.  I had never heard of an “agency” showing actual children or letting adoptive parents choose a child in person. Also offering no social history paperwork, no medical paperwork, no official relinquishment paperwork, nor birth certificate proving that the child/ren was available for adoption.  Kim assured me that this was just the way that Haiti and Giving Hope Rescue Mission did things (per Heather Elyse), though it never settled well with me. 

Admittedly, this was my first Haitian case, and looking back, I should have done much more research and asked many more questions.  A while after their return from Haiti, Heather told the family that "W" (the boy) was unadoptable and his birth parents were not going to allow the adoption.  Again, I saw red flags waving, because Heather should have already had his birth parents’ relinquishment in writing before making a “referral” and should have never introduced "W" to an adoptive family! Additionally she should never have allowed Kim and Jeremy to be paying monthly support for "W" if he was going to be unadoptable. 

It is standard procedure in any adoption not to refer a child who is not legally free for adoption and this situation concerned me greatly.

Kim and Jeremy assured me that they felt that this was a good organization still and I should consider adopting a child from Haiti too. I began advocating a bit for families to adopt from Giving Hope Rescue Mission because of these reassurances and Heather added me to the private Voice of the Orphan Adoptive families facebook group that she ran. During the time I was on the group I was able to see how Heather informed her clients of the progress of their cases, how clients received referrals, and how clients received updates.  

In seven years of working in adoption – and prior to that, completing my own Chinese adoption, I had never seen anything like the way Heather operated.  Everyone was informed about everyone’s case at the same time on this page without any confidentiality.  And when someone received a “referral”, it was posted as a picture on the private VOTO facebook page before the referral was privately presented to the prospective adoptive parents!  

Every international referral I have ever encountered contains social, medical and legal paperwork on a child and is delivered directly and only to a prospective adoptive family to be reviewed by an international doctor before a referral is accepted.  

Kim began talking about going to Haiti on a mission trip to support Giving Hope Rescue Mission. Mission teams were invited to come and perform acts of service for the creche and children. Kim invited me to participate. At first, I had reservations about going because it meant giving a lot of money ($2,500 for food and water for the team) which I felt hesitant about at the time.  But, Kim convinced me and I finally said yes, as did 10 other ladies.  I told myself I was going for the children.

During the time I was advocating for Giving Hope and still on the VOTO private page, two of our clients decided to sign with them as well.  The "S" family and the "W" family.  I was the worker for the S family and my colleague Cindy worked with the W family.  

Communication with VOTO/Heather was impossible for the S family and for my co-worker, as emails were never returned. 

Additionally, Heather shared private and confidential information from the S family's homestudy with Kimberly. Heather told Kimberly that the S’s did not make enough money to care for a sibling group of 4, and yet still referred the family three children. Kim and I both found it odd that Heather would talk about other families' confidential income information but Kim and Heather had grown close so she did not dwell on it. 

The S family's “referral process” waved another huge red flag for me. It was a phone call with Heather, during which she told them their children’s stories.  Again, there was no paperwork, and photos were shared on the Facebook page with a group by Heather.  

Strangely at one point during the process, the children matched with the S family mysteriously vanished from the crèche, and the S’s only found out about it through a brief email from Heather telling them to pray, as well as a post on the VOTO private Facebook page.  

When the children were “found”, it was posted on the VOTO private page for everyone else to see, and this is how the S’s found out that they were safe. The days that the children were not at the creche and they were hoping for some kind of information, the S family were a nervous wreck.  They were scared, they were concerned and they were in the dark about what had happened and why.  

The drama played out on facebook instead of in confidential emails or phone calls. To this day they have no concrete idea what was going on or how the children were brought back to the creche except that it had something to do with the birthparents removing the children and Heather "rescuing" them back.

This is why agencies MUST have trained social workers on staff – to properly work with families in a crisis, to know how to counsel families through hard issues, and to have the social work ethics knowledge which states, “Do no harm”. This family went through hell with this situation and the lack of follow up.

On November 4th 2012, our mission team flew to Haiti, and on the morning of the 5^th, Heather greeted us at the guesthouse/mission we were staying at near Giving Hope Rescue Mission.

She introduced herself with a long speech about who she is and how she came to Haiti.  In this introduction Heather said that orphanages (crèches) are not happy places, they are depressing and she doesn’t even like to go there to her own creche, Giving Hope Rescue Mission.  

She called Haiti a “God forsaken place”.  

She said that they (Giving Hope Rescue Mission and VOTO) had a “media” policy – we could take pictures, but we could not post them anywhere. I thought this was for the childrens' benefit. But actually she explained that every photo had to be sent to her or Michelle See so they could choose what adoptive parents could see. She said this was because her “crazy adoptive parents” would freak out if they saw the children in less than ideal conditions. She said to just “help her out” so that she wouldn’t have a bunch of explaining to do to adoptive parents.  

The ladies on the team and I had brought 12 suitcases filled with medicine, clothes, baby powder, vitamins, toys, diapers, and ointments.  We were told that they were always lacking in these areas and needed supplies.  Each of us spent hundreds of dollars to accommodate the crèche and help the children. Gladly!  We also spent $2500 as a group for the privilege of coming to the crèche – which included just water and lunch for the four days we were going to serve there.  

When we unloaded our 12 suitcases at the crèche, we were a little astounded to see that there were two rooms filled with supplies already.  One entire room was devoted to clothes – it was a closet.  Another room was like a huge medicine cabinet and diaper bin.  I do not begrudge giving supplies to orphans or orphanages, but I have to admit, I felt like we were being taken advantage of.  They did not appear to need anything, and in fact, I worried that there were expired medicines and other supplies sitting in the heat because there were so many not being used.  

We went to the Giving Hope Rescue Mission baby house first (the baby house is on the right of the compound, connected by walls with an empty compound and then on the far left is the house for the toddlers and older kids.)  

It was as Heather described - kind of depressing, babies sleeping two to three in a crib, flies flying around, babies with dirty diapers lying in the cribs.  But, this is also what I expected an orphanage “crèche” to be like.  It came as no surprise to me, as this is what I teach families to expect when they adopt a child internationally.  

In the baby house there were two nannies and a missionary.  The missionary was holding a young baby and the nannies were sitting down while all the babies were in their cribs.  Some were napping and some were not.  I saw a little boy "W" who I had loved in pictures who had some special medical needs sleeping and his diaper was so full of diarrhea, it was overflowing onto his sheet.  I changed him, and his sheet, and he woke up, reached for me and clung.  He would not let me go.  All the babies were that way.  

If we picked them up, they did not want to be put down.  They would cry hysterically, cling on to us and beg to be picked back up.  It was heart wrenching. 

However, Heather Elyse had always advertised Giving Hope Rescue Mission as a "boutique" creche. Her social media was filled with photos of children dressed beautifully and babies being held.

This simply was not the reality we encountered in November 2012.

The creche was depressing, the children lived in cribs, and there were not enough staff in my opinion.

In December after returning home I wrote a Facebook “note” and posted it on my private wall about the experience, only after getting permission from Kim and the woman who was in process to adopt little boy "W" to use their names and photos.  

In the post I said nothing negative about Giving Hope or Heather Elyse specifically, but Kim and I received the following emails from Heather telling me to take down my post from my facebook page. Kim called me hysterical begging me to take down the post because Heather might cancel her adoption, and she didn’t want Heather mad at her. I felt sad that Kim was so scared of Heather.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <heather@givinghopehaiti.org>
Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 6:47 PM
Subject: Favor
To: Kimberly Williams <kwilliamscce@gmail.com>
Cc: Michelle <michelle@givinghopehaiti.org>, Tim Rowe <timrowe@voiceoforphan.com>


I need Stephanie Williams to take off her super inappropriate post immediately ! Thx.

H-

Getting way too many complaints.

No media allowed  - especially those that paint us in a negative light!

Sent from my iPhone

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <heather@givinghopehaiti.org>
Date: Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 6:58 PM
Subject: Your team
To: Kimberly Williams <kwilliamscce@gmail.com>
Cc: RFG <contact@roomforgraceintl.org>, Michelle See <michelle@voiceoforphan.com>


Can not make postings w/ out approval from us. All pics/ blogs- need to be ran through us for approval.

Anna or Michelle will send you our media policy.

If some adoptive parents read her post they would die...

I know I about did! ;) I about fell over. So disrespectful. I was so shocked.

Sorry for the short emails- beyond busy in Haiti.

... And my emails are blowing up from not so happy leadership.

H-

Sent from my iPhone

Email from Heather to me:

Stephanie,

I am not sure why you decided to post the following:

(this was my facebook post/note for my friends and family): My entire life, I wanted to go on a mission trip.  I wanted my life to count. I wanted to show God’s love to people who did not have access to church, Bibles, and abundance like we have in America.  I guess I thought that leaving my time zone would somehow make me more valuable to God.

So, when the opportunity came for me to go on a mission trip to an orphanage in Haiti (actually called a creche), I jumped at the chance.  The trip was the brainchild of (Kim) an HSC client who is adopting a little girl from the creche, Giving Hope Haiti Rescue Mission.  She led our group of twelve ladies, which also included our Executive Director (Denise) and Center co-worker (Sue).

We left on Sunday, November 4 at 3AM.  Some of us had little or no sleep, but we were all energized by the journey ahead of us.  Some of us knew each other well, and some knew hardly no one, but we were amazed by how cohesive the group was – as travelers and soon to find out as roommates. 

Twelve hours later, we arrived in Port au Prince, Haiti. 

We knew that our accomodations, L C, a mission that runs a sponsorship program, school, and medical clinic, would be somewhat primitive, though we also thought that we would have more rooms to share.  Nine of us slept in one large room with one bathroom, and three in the other room.  It was about 90 degrees and humid, and the only source for cool air was a small ceiling fan on the lowest possible speed.  The electricity went out at ten every night.  There was no hot water for showers, and we could not use the tap water for drinking or brushing our teeth.  Finally, we could not place toilet paper in the toilet, but in the waste basket beside it. As rustic as this sounds, it never caused a problem and no one grumbled at the inconvenience.  (Actually a cold shower after a long hot day was pretty awesome!)  

Our first day at Giving Hope was filled with awe and wonder at these precious little children who were so desperate for love.  We had been warned that while the small creche works as hard as it can to provide for 140 children, there are things that cannot be controlled, like flies at this open air facility.  The nannies, whom they call Mommies, try as hard as they can to care for the children, but because there are so many, it is impossible for them all to receive one on one love and attention for extended periods of time.  I knew this.  Of course I knew this.  I teach this.  I knew my daughter once lived like this – at least I knew it intellectually.  But it is different to see it, experience it, and be a part of it.  Now I KNOW, with a knowledge that is almost unbearable.  It has taken me this long to process it.

Back in April, Kimberly  was matched with her daughter R.  And as I am prone to do, I looked at pictures of other children there to see if, by chance, there was one that struck a cord with me.  And there was. His name is W.  I asked my husband if he thought we could adopt again, and he said he felt we were too old to start over.  While I tend to agree, there was just something about this precious little boy that captured my heart.  So, on the first day at the creche, when I saw him, my heart skipped a beat.  The ladies and I started the day by going through the baby house surveying any needs the babies had – diapers to be changed, babies to be held, noses to be wiped.  That’s when I saw him.  He was napping and had a dirty diaper.  So I changed him, and swatted away pesky flies, and told him how much God loved him.  When he woke up, he reached for me, and I picked him up.  We immediately became a duo, and I could see why his pictures had drawn me in.  He was even more precious in person.     

              

Besides loving on babies, we helped the creche in various ways.  We did laundry – by hand outside in wash tubs, gave toddlers communal baths, sang and danced with the preschoolers, did a vacation Bible School for the school aged children, painted the Mommies’ and childrens’ finger and toe nails, made dinner and served the creche missionaries one night, worked at a local school, changed diapers and crib sheets, and fed precious children.

                          

The creche also rescued an 18 day old premature baby girl, and allowed us to care for her at Life Connection while we were there.  A few of our ladies became very attached to her, and were very sad the day we had to say goodbye.  I am sure she will forever be in our prayers.  

 The longer we were there, it became obvious to all of us that the children were love starved.  The condition of orphan is not natural.  It is not God’s original design.  He designed us to be in families, with the love of a mother and a father. He designed us to need one another, to need love, touch, and attention.  These children, along with all children in institutional care, do not have these fundamental elements to grow and thrive. 

They were starved for attention, and if we showed them a moment of attention, they clung to us as though their lives depended on it.  As the week went on, I began to wonder if we were helping or if we were hurting these children by being there.  To set them down, to walk away from them, to show another child attention only led to screaming, sobbing, clinging and tantrums.  Was their trust in others being eroded each time we left for the evening?  

Of course, I did not want to be a contributor to the very thing I know and teach others is so important for the emotional health of their children. 

I also began to think about my own Chinese daughter, and how she was when she first came home.  She acted just like these children.  Love starved.  And my heart ached for her - for not knowing everything she went through her first twelve months.  How many white people came and loved her for a moment just to walk away?  How many times did she scream for consolation, love or attention only to be ignored by passing nannies, too busy to give her time?  How many times did she lay in her own feces as she slept with flies and mosquitos swarming her little body?  How has her first year shaped who she is and I will never know or be able to heal her?  

And I felt guilty.  Guilty for doing this to other children and for being in Haiti, instead of at home with my own children, who God had already entrusted me to care for, righting the wrongs of their pasts.  And I realized: God has already given me a mission field.  My family, first and foremost, and then, my families at Heaven Sent.  

The very best thing I can do for the children of Haiti, or anywhere else, is my job. I thought these thoughts as I hugged and kissed W goodbye for the last time. I tried not to pick him up, and my heart broke.  I walked away from him, and heard him wail, with his arms outstretched, holding a toy we had given him.  Then, in defeat, his arms went to his side, he looked down and cried softly.  It was one of the saddest things I have ever seen, and I wanted to run away, full of guilt for being the cause of his tears.

On this last day there, we went to lunch and swam at the resort where the creche director and missionaries live.  The director brought her children and some terminally ill children who stay with her, one of whom I have known and loved from pictures .  I learned that his HIV has developed into AIDS.  As soon as I saw him, I scooped him up and held him.  He snuggled into my neck and held on to me and I sat rocking him for a long time.  His breathing was labored and wraspy, his nose was running and he had a fever.  But I just poured my love into him, knowing that in his short life, he needs to feel love on earth.  I sang to him and talked to him and prayed for him.  When it was time to go, a missionary placed him in his stroller (pictured here), and he was too sick to cry.  I, however, was again heartbroken.  

Giving a child the love of a mother, only to watch them slip back into being an orphan is against everything in my being.  It was emotionally painful, and I was ready to be home. 

In Haiti, I learned a lot about myself and the ladies I traveled with.  We spent mornings and evenings together in devotion and reading letters from home.  We gave our testimonies, shared our feelings, shed tears, laughed a lot and sweated even more.  God was with us, and we saw and felt Him in mighty ways.  Haiti is both beautiful and desperate.  The poverty and bitter smell of burning leaves and garbage juxtaposed with the lush landscape and majestic ocean is jarring.

But, there is also a richness in lack.  The people in Haiti work from the moment they wake up until they fall asleep – farming plants and animals, washing and hanging laundry by hand, making items to sell at market, cooking food over fires and walking or bicycling where ever they need to go.  They appreciate what they do have and take care of it with pride.  Those who know God, lean on Him in ways we do not know how – because they have to in order to survive.   And they are joyful.  Their lives are simple, and do not carry the stressful hustle and bustle of American life.

I am very thankful for being able to go to Haiti and for everything I experienced and learned.  I am thankful for my time with such wonderful women.  And I praise God for what He showed me while I was there – to serve Him does not mean I have to leave my country. In fact, I went all the way to Haiti to learn I already have a mission field at home.

(Heather's comment):

"I thought you were on the same line of work as me... Adoptions. Surely you can respect privacy and confidentiality.

When you were in Haiti, I made it very clear about media, and the struggle I have w/ adoptive parents etc.

I thought your post was lovely in all aspects, other then you basically are telling adoptive parents that their child is love starved. This is the wrong perspective to focus on. The fact that they are Alive and not dead is a miracle!!!! My adoptive parents do not need to read a depressing post as the one you posted. I thought it was 100% disrespectful to me, especially after I made myself super clear to you and the team.

If this junior high immaturity does not stop.... I will be CC'ng you in a letter to the state. I know TN takes confidentiality very serious.  They are a wonderful state who understands Hague. So I would please ask if you would please call me to discuss this like adults.  I am willing to hear your side and heart on the matter.

Thanks,

Heather"

I wrote her back, in part:

"Of course as a social worker and adoption worker, I realize the importance of confidentiality, and did not post any names or pictures that I was not given the express permission to use.

Everything I wrote was truth.  Children who are orphans in an institutional setting, no matter what country they are in, do not live in God’s original design, and they are, in fact, love starved.  It is the express responsibility of those of us in the adoption field to properly education adoptive parents on this reality, so that they will have the tools necessary to empower their children when they come home."

 

Heather never responded to this email.  

But, the next time she posted updated photos of kids, Kim's was not photographed.  I have heard from more than one person now that if an adoptive parent makes Heather mad, she will punish them by not posting photos of their children that month or threaten to cancel their adoptions. 

I found it interesting that the little boy I had held and written about, "W", died not too long after our trip there in November.  Once again, the entire VOTO adoption community was told of his “death” on the VOTO facebook page after his adoptive parents received an email telling them he was dead of unknown causes.   I believe that his disappearance, as well as the disappearance of Heather’s two children whom she claimed were murdered by their birth mother (for which she has told at least 3-4 different stories) needs to be investigated by someone outside of the GHRM/VOTO organizations.

Other concerns:  

While I was in Haiti in November, I noticed that although Heather had urged families to donate a large amount of money the previous summer for a generator for the creche (I believe between $12-15,000 was donated) I had hung clothes out on the roof, had been in the back of the building washing laundry, in the kitchen, and in all the other rooms of the baby house and toddler house. I had not seen a generator.  

I also noticed that there was no actual “Room for Grace”.  All of the rooms were alike. Room for Grace is a sponsorship program (founded by Heather Elyse) where they ask for $300 per month to care for children at Giving Hope Rescue Mission who are not already matched to adoptive families or who are terminally ill. This "room" is supposed to be a specialized program for special needs children.  I did see a terminally ill boy, with hydrocephalous, and AIDS, but if he was in “Room for Grace”, it’s one crib in a hallway. It is also my understanding that a little boy was transferred in the fall of 2012 from another orphanage to "Room for Grace", arriving with special needs but healthy at the time, only to die 48 hours later.

In general it did not feel like the staff to child ratio was acceptable. On one day we witnessed an older nanny trying to bathe 20 toddlers at the same time.

Another time I walked through the school age children’s bunk room and saw the children taking a nap.  A large number of children were sharing beds.

I noticed also that a lot of the children were sick with deep mucus filled coughs, congestion and fever. With all of the medicines in the back, I also noticed that none of the children were receiving any. I did not observe any specialized care for sick children or medical needs children.

On our second day of volunteering our team went to the crèche and it was like a different place.  The children were beautifully dressed – complete with bows and frills.  The nanny staff was doubled and all of the missionaries, who rotated days at Club Indigo – the all inclusive resort where Heather, her children and missionaries lived - and at the crèche, were there.  The orphan aid group Ordinary Hero was coming to look at the crèche, and the staff of Giving Hope Rescue Mission had been told to dress the children nicely.  

There was double the water supply and double the food, as well.  I found the little boy, W, with a fever, congestion and diarrhea wearing sweat pants and a thick heavy t-shirt in 90 degree weather.  So, I went to the baby clothes room and changed him into something cooler, and asked a missionary what they give the babies when they have this congestive fever.  She said she didn’t know.  So, as Heather led Ordinary Hero through the crèche, I asked her what she wanted me to give him, and she said a breathing treatment.  None of the nannies or the missionaries knew how to give this breathing treatment to him. So, I did my best.  I couldn’t help but think, “Adoptive parents pay $300 a month for their babies to be cared for here?  What does their money cover?”

While Ordinary Hero was there, Heather had her own little girl (adopted in the US) stand up and tell the crowd of strangers how she had been abused by her birth parents – made to live in a cage and eat feces, and how Heather had saved her. I could not believe it, as an adoption social worker and as a mother of two adopted children, it seemed to me like Heather was exploiting her child.  But why?  The second day looked like a production designed to impress Ordinary Hero. 

The third day, there was no food or water at the crèche for our team.  We had donated $2500 for food and water, and after two days of water and fruit, there was nothing.  The children were back in diapers, they were back down to two nannies in the baby house for 20-30 or so babies and three nannies at the toddler/school age house.  

Kimberly was worried for our team and sent an email to Michelle See asking what our $2500 had paid for?  She did not get a response, but the fourth day at the crèche, we were told that Heather was going to "treat" us to a lunch that afternoon at Club Indigo resort.  

Earlier in the week, she had told us that she would let us each bring a child from the crèche to the pool as a special treat for them, but then she changed her mind and told us we were going to each be assigned one of her children because she had not had much “one on one time with them lately”.  This lunch also turned out to be an appreciation lunch for the nannies that our $2,500 was apparently covering.  More nannies showed up this afternoon than we had seen all week combined.  At the lunch, Heather did not talk to any of the ladies in our group.  She avoided us.  At one point I overheard a lady walk up to Heather and say something about a woman threatening her for a large amount of money.  Heather said she was threatened all the time and it wouldn’t be the first time.

On Friday we left Haiti.  I left with a hollow, sad feeling, as though something was not right with Giving Hope Rescue Mission. Our group felt this way.

When I returned home, I heard from an adoptive mother, who wishes to remain anonymous. She told me that she speaks with five other Giving Hope Rescue Mission adoptive moms and what they do is “keep their heads low and do what they are told so that their children are not taken away from them.”  

I told the two families whose homestudies we were processing at our agency that I wanted them to pray and also to look at how other agencies run their Haitian programs before they proceeded with adopting through Giving Hope Rescue Mission.  I told them to compare the referral process, the update process, the contracts, and the time frame – as well as to look at the number of children they have actually brought home.  They did, and each pulled out of the program.       

It is my strong opinion that things are not as they are purported to be at Giving Hope Rescue Mission creche.  I feel that there is an enormous amount of control, manipulation, intimidation and fear that is brandished over Heather's clients despite her claims of operating as a Christian. 

I feel that there is no accountability – no state license for Voice of the Orphan (until June 2013) and a lack of social work background for the staff to ensure that clients are being worked with ethically, with support and with the correct amount of checks and balances.  

It’s Heather Elyse, fear and intimidation, and no one is allowed to question her, say or show anything negative about her or ask for what they rightfully and legally deserve to receive.  It is wrong.  I believe that there has been no accountability about children dying and disappearing. 

I believe in justice for orphans, the poor and the oppressed.  If I do not stand up and share this experience then I am complicit in the wrongdoing against these children and families.  Sometimes God asks us to do hard things for others.  I have seen and experienced the fear, intimidation and manipulation, both personally and through my clients.  I know there are other children and families who are still held captive by it, and it cannot continue.  So, I’ll speak for them too.  God is my fortress and my protector.