We have received a deluge of messages from families that felt entirely alone in their concerns related to Giving Hope Rescue Mission. Many are still scared to approach Tim Rowe or Heather Elyse, fearful of the impact on their children in Haiti.
This is our message to you. FEAR is not from God. FEAR is a liar. It tells you that you cannot get through this. That you aren't strong enough. Your voice won't count. Fear tells you that this is not your battle, that all you wanted was to adopt a child. Fear says that your child will be hurt if you stand up and speak out.
Are you waking up at 3am scared? We did. But we don't anymore.
Are you having anxiety attacks? Right there with you. But not anymore.
Are you deleting your facebook account? Been there done that. But not anymore.
Are you supposed to live like this? We don't think so.
And we don't think that such a large group of intelligent faithful Christian families should be made to feel this intimidated. (Of course, we understand though that you feel your child is at stake.)
We want to propose something to the adoption community that should be obvious. It should be simple. And yet it actually has to be said and affirmed over and over.
You should NEVER feel fearful of your agency or your adoption facilitator.
This is not a normal state of being. This is not normal in adoptions. And if you are fearful and being chastised to "respect the leader", "wait well" or practice "first time obedience" then in our opinion you have found yourself in a bad situation.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do I feel like if I talk to other adoptive families my agency or facilitator will get mad?
- Am I nervous to ask questions?
- Have I heard that my adoption worker is talking behind my back?
- Does my caseworker always have to check with someone else before answering basic questions about our adoption?
- Am I getting completely mixed messages?
- Has my facilitator threatened that she will know if I complain to anyone in the organization about her behavior?
- Am I prevented from having a relationship, even previously existing, with missionaries working for the organization?
- Have I seen things that don't sit well with me at the creche?
- Are my blog posts or facebook posts read and censored by the agency? Am I constantly reading and rereading what I post?
- Have I stopped or scaled back posting to my family blog out of fear?
- Am I fearful of who I am friends with on facebook?
- Has the agency told me that others are complaining about me and to trust nobody?
- Am I fearful of going to Haiti without permission from the agency?
- Do I wonder about the honesty and integrity of the agency?
- Do I know where my child is living? Am I scared for his/her health and emotional well being?
- Am I scared that my adoption could be cancelled at any time?
- Am I scared of being sued?
- Have I been threatened?
- Does my agency make me feel like a bad Christian? Like I don't have faith if I ask about inconsistencies?
- Do I have to flatter my facilitator online?
- Do I suspect my facilitator of using other staff email accounts to contact me (as the other staff person?)
- Have I or others I know been kicked off of online forums or facebook groups with no explanation by the facilitator?
Is EVERYTHING dependent upon one strong personality?
Ok, so you answered yes to the questions above you don't have to live like that. We are here for you. Contact us.
